I apologize that most of my recent posts have been about pregnancy. When your stomach is growing a human, it’s hard to ignore all the changes physically, emotionally, and spiritually that are taking place. There must be something about growing things in general where God highlights something to me. When Anna and I started this blog, I couldn’t help but write about the plants and herbs I was growing. So here I am, talking once again about growing pains.
I’m into my third trimester now, starting week 29. Since week 18, my hands have been falling asleep when I go to bed at night. There have been moments of pain, annoyance, and frustration as my body is waking itself up due to the tingling in my hands. Back at week 18, I thought I wasn’t supposed to be waking up through the night until baby boy was here. My perspective has since changed.
When it started happening, I asked my doctor if this was a normal symptom of pregnancy. She said it was. At this point in the game it almost feels as though any symptom could be due to pregnancy. Having friends go through this with me opens eyes to a myriad of [dys]functions the pregnant body can conjure up. There is the nausea, sciatic pain, enlargement of breasts, belly buttons that stick out, insomnia, vivid dreams, and headaches to name a few. Please hear me on this, I’m not trying to sound like I’m complaining. I would go through everything I’ve experienced three times over to meet this little boy growing inside of me. I feel so fortunate to be carrying our little guy. I’m just calling a spade a spade.
After going through a week of terrible sleep, my husband was researching ideas to help carpel tunnel syndrome. I really wanted to find a way to maintain this pain and discomfort I was going through. As a massage therapist, I really need feeling in my hands to do my job well. He found an article that had loads of ideas. I could get regular massages myself, go to the chiropractor, receive acupuncture, rub essential oils on my forearms and wrists, take Epsom salt baths, wrap my arms in dry cabbage leaves to pull extra fluid away from my nerves, give up carbs, sugar or other inflammatory foods, wear wrist braces at night, and more. I will say that I have tried 90% of that list. Some days the pain and tingling are better than others, but it hasn’t completely gone away in 11 weeks.
Last week my husband asked my friend to pray over my hands and wrists at church. My husband has woken up in the middle of the night to massage my arms to help get feeling back in them or simply pray and ask for God’s healing. I will admit there has not been a miraculous healing yet, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t able. For those who think praying for healing seems crazy, let’s remember that I wrapped cabbage leaves around my wrists for 20 minutes in hopes of relief. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When my friend came over to pray for my hands there was something that moved in my heart rather than any physical relief in my hands. There have been times when I have prayed for healing for others and I fully believed that God could do it. Whether it be a headache or cancer, I asked God and believed that He could make them whole again. But believing this healing for myself felt far more vulnerable; far more out of reach.
Through a bit of processing and some wisdom offered from friends and my husband, this moment of asking for healing over my hands feels way deeper than physical relief. This is about me trusting my Heavenly Father.
As my husband and I move into a new stage of parenthood, we will be stretched in ways we couldn’t conjure up on our own. Our child(ren) will ask us for things. Our boy will ask his dad for toys, he’ll ask for help when he can’t do something on his own, he’ll ask for a hug and kiss when he gets hurt. I’m sure the joy in my husband will swell when he is able to provide these things for his son. Our heavenly Father looks at us the same. He waits for us to ask Him for things we can’t do on our own.
He’s not a genie up in heaven waiting to give us our every wish and desire. After all, He knows what’s best for us. If a child asks his parents for candy for dinner, often times the answer is no. This is not the best choice and mom or dad knows this. But they will provide something that is better (even if it doesn’t seem better to the child). So let us ask our Father up in heaven for our needs, our wants, and our desires. He knows what’s best. Even if I don’t get miraculous healing in my hands, it’s in the asking that I grow closer to Him, trust Him for good gifts, and believe that His ways are higher than mine.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-11 NIV
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT